Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titilandus
by ShinzonAurthurDentEiffel65nut
Summary: OC introduced. Draco's older brother and he have a bit of a scuffle...
1. CHAPTER ONE: THUD

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titilandus  
  
Author: D.G.D.B.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: The OTHER Malfoy torments his brother on a summer afternoon.  
  
Timeline: Book Two  
  
Keywords: Draco, OTHER brother, tormentation. Pervy Mione' jokes, Male Mary- sue  
  
AN: Warning! Extremely strange! Written after reading crappy original fiction, phan phiction, while listening to POTO Cd. Read wiv caution! Not meant to make any sense.  
  
&^& The OTHER Malfoy  
  
Draco Malfoy and his older brother wrestled in the parlor of the Malfoy mansion.  
  
"SAY IT!" shouted the older boy, grabbing Draco in a headlock and giving him a noogie.  
  
"NEVER!" Draco shrieked back, flipping his brother David and sitting on his chest.  
  
"ARGH!" David yelped, struggling to dislodge his little brother.  
  
"NOW YOU ADMIT IT!"  
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"  
  
David managed to get free and tossed his brother off of him. He stood on his knees panting and preparing to retaliate. Then he launched himself at Draco, catching him round the middle and sending a semi-precious vase to it's demise. The two blonde boys tussled near the couch, Lucius Malfoy lifted his feet up and continued to read the Daily Prophet and smoke his pipe.  
  
"Mind the coffee table boys." Malfoy Senior said offhandedly as he regarded his sons over his paper.  
  
"Ow!" came one voice as someone's head collided with the coffee table.  
  
"HA! Now admit it!" Draco yelled triumphantly as he held his older brother in a headlock.  
  
"Fine! LEGGO ME!"  
  
Draco let his brother go. David sniffed and straightened his shirt.  
  
"Hermione Granger is hot. There, I've said it." David muttered. "But you think so as well, so bugger off small fry!"  
  
Draco Malfoy smiled smugly, crossing his arms. Lucius Malfoy just sighed and went back to reading his paper.  
  
*&^&*  
  
Well? What did you think. Please review. 


	2. CHAPTER TWO:Thunk

Draco Dormiens Nunqaum Titilandus Part 2 Sic semper tyrannis  
  
AN: Ya know, I'm getting tired of all this formality and the slashers getting away with everything. I'm in love! Leave me alone! This is another installation of the Draco's older brother series. Read it and run away terrified. Also, VERY VERY VERY Alternate Universe. The Malfoys invite Hermione (Sigh) to dinner and the Malfoy boys bicker over her. After all, if people can write about Draco and Harry butt fucking each other, I can write this drivel.  
  
*&^&*  
  
"DRACO!" shouted Mr Lucius Malfoy severely. "Let GO of you're brother! And David! Stop throwing fish at Draco."  
  
"Yes Father..." the two said in unison.  
  
"I want the both of you washed and ready for dinner in twenty minutes. Hermione Granger's coming to dinner." said the Master Malfoy of the house. "And stop trying to throw each other off the stairs!"  
  
Lucius shook his head in disgust as her heard his sons bickering upstairs and fighting to get into the master bathroom.  
  
"WE HAVE EIGHT BATHROOMS!" Lucius roared irritably.  
  
Silence upstairs.  
  
"Merlin's balls!" Lucius muttered. "It's just a girl for Pete's sake!"  
  
"Aaah! That's where you are mistaken, my love." Came the silky voice of Narcissa Malfoy.  
  
She strode over to her husband and deposited herself in his lap.  
  
"Narcissa, my dear."  
  
He began to give her a very thorough kissing as punishment for admonishing him.  
  
"Ew gross! Mum! Dad! Don't let Hermione see you like that!" Draco protested.  
  
David and Draco shuddered at that thought. At the same time, the doorbell let out a shout of complaint. The two blonde boys raced to the door, kicking and biting to get to the knob first. They both opened it. There stood Hermione.  
  
"Hi Hermione!" said the two, yet again in unison.  
  
They glared at one another and punched the other discreetly.  
  
"Hi Draco. David," the beautiful witch said sweetly. "C'n I come in?"  
  
"Come in my dear!" said Narcissa, leading Hermione into the Malfoy Castle.  
  
Draco and David pushed each other out of the way to make room for Hermione. They stood on either side of Hermione and followed her, who followed Narcissa, who followed Lucius, who followed the new family house elf, into the dining room.  
  
"Here Hermione, sit here," David said eagerly, politely pulling out a chair for her. "I'll sit next to you."  
  
Hermione sat down and David sat next to her. Draco hurriedly sat in the chair on Hermione's other side.  
  
She has such a pretty smile.Thought Draco.  
  
Yeah. I wish she smiled more. Agreed David.  
  
I really like her.  
  
Me too.  
  
"Boys, wake up." said Narcissa curtly.  
  
And so began a lovely evening at the Malfoy Castle. David and Draco watched Hermione, making sure she ate every bite, barely eating anything themselves.  
  
All too soon it was time for Hermione to leave. The two boys followed her to the door.  
  
"Mr Malfoy, thank you so much for asking me to come to dinner," Hermione said sweetly. "I had a great time."  
  
"Not at all, my dear." Lucius nodded.  
  
"David. Draco. See you both at school."  
  
Hermione kissed them both on the cheek, leaving faint lipstick marks on their rapidly reddening cheeks.  
  
"See you at school then." they mumbled.  
  
Hermione giggled and walked off.  
  
The door was closed and Draco and David promptly fainted.  
  
&^%^&  
  
What do you think of part 2? Please review. Heyyyy... that rhymes! 


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